The Non-Dating Game | El Fin

Well, that’s it kids. One full year of not dating (or something like that). This journey actually stopped being about dating some time ago. It’s been more about learning myself through God’s eyes and practicing (though stumbling a lot in the process) making wiser life choices in general.

The truth is … I don’t have it all together.

It’s been a painful pruning process this last year. A lot of tough moments realizing some ugly truths about myself and my choices with men. I know I’m better and wiser than I used to be. I’m more aware of what’s happening inside me and around me. I’ve got better control of my ratchet emotions though the work with this is never really done. I could stand to do a lot more with controlling my feelings and managing how I respond to people - making sure that everything I do is with love and compassion.

I don’t know what my future holds. No clue what God has in store though I have ideas (which are probably irrelevant). I take it day-by-day, and more and more I’m learning to depend on God for everything. For comfort, for wisdom, for strength, for love.

I stopped drinking recently (not sure for how long). I noticed how it had become my emotional go-to when I felt sad or angry or disappointed. Not a good look. I want God to be what I run to in those moments so I made the adjustment. It wasn’t easy (being Miss Jack Daniels and all), and it still isn’t but I feel better for it. I feel like I’m seeing things more clearly.

This year was a big challenge in surrendering. I had to give up my desires, my way of thinking and doing things, and my identity (or what I thought was my identity), and really ask myself, What does God have to say about this?

Trust me, people. God has something to say about every aspect of our lives, from who we date to how we spend our money. The question is whether we want to listen and apply it or not. And I’ve learned that listening to and applying what God proposes renders better results than I could ever achieve on my own.

I am so happy with my life right now and excited about my future. I know that that’s because I took a chance on God and trusted Him with the thing that meant the most to me — my relationships and my heart. He in turn has given me peace and joy, and totally changed the way I think about myself and my life. You can’t beat that.

So, though this particular journey has come to an end, the work on me continues.